My First Impressions of Madrid

As I write this first blog post on our recently critically acclaimed blog I am preparing to leave to hang with some friends at a nearby Sangria joint. Sangria, friends, spaniards, hookers, what more could a guy want? So yeah things are going well so far. Mom, Dad, I'm not banging any hookers. Prostitution however is legal so many a time I have been asked. I take this as a compliment.

My beautiful olive skin helps draw people away from my Jew nose so I think I can pull off the whole "Not a tourist" thing. Well, except for not being able to speak the language. Spanish has always been a struggle for me. I am taking it four times a week and living in a homestay with a madre who doesn't speak english. I should be able to get some sexy chicas into bed by the end right?

I live with my friend Conor who has joined me in retelling our magical stories to our thousands of readers. We live in the Chueca region of Madrid, which is officially the best neighborhood in the city. Almost every student friendly club or bar is in walking range so I can get fucked up wherever and walk back at any time. The only negative (another positive?) is once in a while hookers will come up and will ask to fuck. And for a moment you pause and ponder that question (It's a joke mom seriously I'm not.) And it's Chueca so sometimes the hookers are gay!

Since the metro closes at 1:30am and doesn't re-open until 6am, a lot of other students have to choose between going home at like 1am (that's early for all you old fuckers who go to bed after a nice early bird special at 5pm) and staying up til 6am to take the metro back. Conor and I can stumble back to our apartment cross faded at any time.

Masturbation has been somewhat of a habit for me here. I recently had to say goodbye to my girlfriend for the semester so I have been relying on my left hand. I have my own room so it's not too hard to get a couple of minutes (30 seconds "cough cough") to myself.

Now it's time for some sangria.